My Partner Is Pressuring Me to Have an Abortion, but I’m Not Sure

Maybe your partner keeps telling you that abortion is the obvious answer. He might say you can’t afford a baby, that the timing is terrible, or that your relationship won’t survive if you continue the pregnancy.

Meanwhile, you aren’t sure what you want.

You may not have reached a decision yet, but it’s still yours alone to make. No one is legally allowed to force you into a decision you don’t want to make. Baywater Women’s Clinic knows this situation can be stressful, and we’re available if you are looking for support.

Schedule a free appointment today to speak with our caring team. We’re here for you.

Find Out What You Think

When the same opinion is repeated often enough, it can become difficult to pay attention to what you actually want.

Try distancing yourself from the conversation. You might write down what initially went through your mind when you learned you were pregnant, before anyone else weighed in.

What comes to mind when you think about continuing the pregnancy? What concerns you about abortion? Have you thoroughly researched all of your options? Which questions are still unanswered?

Thinking about which option you’re leaning toward can help you stay focused on what you’d like for this pregnancy instead of outside opinions.

Don’t Let a Deadline Be Invented for You

Your partner may insist that you need to decide immediately. Instead of responding to that pressure, find out what is actually relevant to your pregnancy.

If abortion is one of the options you’re researching, learn about medical and surgical abortion, including their risks and side effects. Gestational age is also important because different abortion procedures are performed at different stages of pregnancy.

Parenting and adoption are also worth exploring to help you make an educated decision. If parenting seems impossible because of finances, for example, find out which expenses or circumstances are creating that concern. If you have questions about adoption, learn how the process works before deciding whether it belongs on or off your list.

Prioritize Your Safety

There’s a difference between a partner saying, “I think abortion is the best choice,” and trying to force that outcome.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline identifies forcing a partner to have an abortion, threatening violence over a pregnancy decision, and using guilt or shame to control reproductive decisions as forms of reproductive coercion.

If your partner is threatening you, controlling your money or transportation, interfering with medical appointments, or making you afraid of what will happen if you refuse an abortion, take that behavior seriously. You never deserve abuse of any kind, and your safety is of the utmost importance.

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. You can also contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.

Make Room for Your Own Decision

Your partner’s opinion likely matters to you. That doesn’t mean it has to become your decision.

Baywater Women’s Clinic can provide information about your pregnancy and the options available to you. Contact us today to schedule an appointment and ask the questions you haven’t had a chance to ask yet.

Baywater Women’s Clinic does not provide or refer for abortions.

All abortion information in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing.